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Polygamy Is So Deep-Rooted In Africa Beyond Our Imagination–Gloria Johnson

Polygamy Is So Deep-Rooted In Africa Beyond Our Imagination–Gloria Johnson New York[RR] Awka–POLYGAMY IS SO DEEP-ROOTED IN AFRICA BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION. It is OK for us to discuss it anyhow we may want, because we look at ourselves as TRAVELED and MODERN EDUCATED people. BUT we must NEVER forget that, NO MATTER what the different […]

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Polygamy Is So Deep-Rooted In Africa Beyond Our Imagination–Gloria Johnson

New York[RR] Awka–POLYGAMY IS SO DEEP-ROOTED IN AFRICA BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION. It is OK for us to discuss it anyhow we may want, because we look at ourselves as TRAVELED and MODERN EDUCATED people. BUT we must NEVER forget that, NO MATTER what the different levels of education of we, the discussants may be, regardless of where we may live now, THERE ARE THOSE BEFORE US, with HIGHER EDUCATION and FURTHER TRAVELS than we are, who are involved in POLYGAMY till today.

I am an Ijaw woman with a PhD, earned in the USA, married to an Igbo MD also here in the USA.WE BOTH CAME FROM POLYGAMOUS FAMILIES. I have asked myself that POLYGAMY questions several times, my conclusion to it is that CULTURE and RELIGION dictated most of our behaviors in Africa and beyond.

Same as the names we give our children upon birth, those names may be strange in a certain part of this world, but they are the acceptable names in other parts of the world. Same goes with POLYGAMY. Who is anybody to tell me that my name is not acceptable in this world, just because the name is different from those given in his/her tribe?

I consider myself lucky that I have never shared my home with my husband of 34 years, but I am NOT going to fool myself by believing that I am the only woman in his heart. Our marriage is blessed with two university educated, grown children who are both married now, so did God blessed us with abundant hard-earned wealth. No woman should ever swear that she is the only woman in any man’s heart, In a man’s home, maybe, the truth is that EVERY MAN IS A POLYGAMOUS ANIMAL. So are women too, I will explain that later.

Please ask around, it is confirmed already, 72% of married homes in Nigeria are POLYGAMOUS, at of TODAY. Yours and mine may NOT be among those homes, but NEXT DOOR to yours in Africa is polygamous.

We don’t have to CONDEMN others’ practices because of the difference in what we practice, we don’t need to down-talk them neither. POLYGAMY is practiced in both CHRISTIAN, ISLAM and TRADITIONAL RELIGION homes everywhere in Nigeria and Africa in general. Also in ally Islamic countries all over the world.

The CHIEF JUSTICE of the SUPREME COURT of the FEDERAL REPUBLIC of NIGERIA, a woman, Justice Maryam Aloma Mukhtar, is the MOST SENIOR of the THREE WIVES of her husband. Which means, she one time, long ago, welcomed two other women into her family home as wives of her husband too. It is what her Hausa/Fulani culture and the religion of Islam encouraged her husband to do, which he did. It is a culture she MUST accept regardless of how successful she may be in her life. She gladly accepted. HER OWN PARENTS WERE POLYGAMOUS TOO, nothing is new at all.

The MOST SENIOR WIFE of the new Emir of Kano, SANUSI LAMIDO SANUSI, Rukayat Sanusi, is one of the daughters of the late Emir of Kano, Ado Bayero. She also have TWO other ladies she is sharing her husband with, as a result of the same culture and religion as that of the Chief Justice described above. It has become a common practice to marry more than a wife, the society will keep asking you why you haven’t married another wife. Men in a polygamous culture often find themselves unfit among his peers in such society. Just for the same reason a man buys a car, just because his mates bought cars too. If he has the money but refuses to buy a car, he won’t be fun to hang around with by others in his society.

90% of ALL political leaders from northern Nigeria (men and women) are legally polygamous, other 10% you may consider monogamous each have more than THREE concubines out there who are closer to their hearts than their wives you know them by.

NONE of us reading this can boast to be PIONEER in whatever we may possess today like education, wealth, travels and all kinds of knowledge, there is always someone back home who once signed the documents that paved way for us to get here, who was married to more than one wife. Did we condemn him then?

Let anyone who is a Christian here tell me that there are no church pastors in his state in Nigeria that are married to more than one wife each. All the 36 states of Nigeria.

We all condemn polygamy for the sake of our respect for women, as if the men just go out there and “buy” the women like chickens in the market, When will we ask the women who are in polygamous homes why they are in it?
I know several post-secondary school women who married into polygamous homes and those that had polygamy brought to their lives having enjoyed being the only wife previously. Why do they remain in it? Where they ever locked in into any marriage and they can’t leave?

I once asked an equally educated lady friend of mine why she welcomed another woman as her husband’s wife into her home.
She simply told me she feels safer with her as his wife than as a girlfriend. My lady friend is 56 years old, the other lady is 31 years old fresh from a graduate school. My friend told me those 30 year-old university graduates will kill to snatch your husband, because they will rather go for an older man that can provide, than their mates whose employment is not guaranteed upon graduation from the university. Most of those young ladies got their hearts broken by a few before they graduated college, they are often happy to just have a home with anyone to call a husband and they are ready to kill anyone that may be an obstacle to their dreams.

Anyone may ask me if I will ever approve it if my daughters marry into polygamous homes.How many of us reading this had to seek his/her parents’ approval to marry whoever we are married to today? Every parents are happy that we are smart enough to obtain diplomas from universities, they should expect us to be smart enough to make good choices on who we marry and follow us with prayers for a successful married life.

POLYGAMY GOES BOTH WAYS.

It makes no difference at all, when a married woman has a secret lover outside her marriage.Many women, when caught with fornication, blame it all on their husbands seeing other women. I won’t be wrong if I say that WOMEN ARE POLYGAMOUS ANIMALS also.
Married women see other men out there, and admire them in an “He’s cute” manner, even if he is out of her reach. To some married women, it is OK to sleep with a married man, and condemn polygamy, however, sleeping with more than one man at a given time makes the woman a polygamous animal too.

RELIGION.

There is NO religion in this planet today, where polygamy is not practiced. Please back your argument up on that statement with the name of the religion and make your point. We should live SIMPLY and let others SIMPLY live according to the ways they fit comfortable in their marriages.

Don’t marry more than ONE, if you don’t approve POLYGAMY. Don’t marry into a POLYGAMOUS home, if you disapprove such lifestyle.
There are more people into POLYGAMY in this world today than you may think. They may not have signed marriage certificates to show for their unions, but they signed leases for houses they rented, where they keep their other concubines.

By Gloria Johnson, Phd

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